Aunt Jeff: Point is, if you’re going to be in a disastrous scenario
it’s best to be the one causing the disaster.
At least that way you make the headlines.
Also, I am fully supportive of whatever you end up doing.
Aunt Jeff: That awkward moment when you’re having coffee with a friend
and realize there are no less than 3 people there with whom you’d hooked up
I think the math was that I had banged 10% of the clientele
Aunt Jeff: And darling, anytime you think
it can’t get messier
Aunt Jeff: conversations with prospective/ recurring exes
are like being in a jacuzzi
filled with jello, pepperoni, and a horse —
nothing makes any fucking sense
and it doesn’t feel good afterwards
and you don’t feel like you can tell anyone.
…somewhat like Santa Claus. Perverse and full of dangerous instincts. And definitely bearing gifts. “Wisdom from Aunt Jeff,” says Aunt Jeff, as I unwrap my present. I’ve known this kid since we were seventeen, restocking the shelves at CVS. He would push me around the aisles in a shopping cart. Later we broke into abandoned playgrounds late at night. As we grew older, we grew wiser. And Aunt Jeff grew into his bread-baking marathon-running nudist-commune ways. “Pants help no one,” Aunt Jeff says knowledgeably.
Jeff: adventures with private parts and feelings!
the “i know we shouldn’t, but i know we will” bad idea fun thing train.
leaves time for absinthe and naps.