May: The Month Of Bloodworks

As soon as May 1 hits, Youngbloods start having conversations like these.

me: what are you doing for bloodworks
chiara: my sex play
me: yessss hot
chiara: what are you doing?
me: i dont know yet
about anything
in the world
life
liberty
pursuit of happiness
it’s all a question mark
chiara: mmmmkay

Emphatic Feelings About Eagles!

In case you need eagles in your life.

Basil: why am I watching an eagle sleep?
me: because it is ADORABLE
because it is an EAGLE CAM
and they are ALIVE
and you are WITNESSING THEM LIVE
Basil: oh!
me: and they are less annoying than any of the humans you have dealt with or will continue to deal with
Basil: true very true
me: oh my god look at its little face
i need to stop watching this, it’s weirdly addictive
Basil: yeah when’s it gonna move
or eat something or clean itself
me: whenever it FUCKING FEELS LIKE IT
Picture 21

Drastic Career Shift. Blame Chiara.

me: but then i still think
maybe i’ll just move to iceland
herd yaks
are there yaks
in iceland?
ice-yaks
bison
whatever
polar bears
Chiara: none of those things, I believe
possibly some elk? but i’m not sure
me: i can herd elk
they do most of the work themselves
Chiara: i follow this great shepherd on twitter
https://twitter.com/herdyshepherd1

A Distilled Natural History of the Vole, Part Deux

B: there’s two kinds of voles
prairie and something else
One kind has really nice guy male voles, who take care of the kids and love their mates
Just all around good guys

The other kind of vole, well he is a real loner type
aggressive
goes through female voles like they’re going extinct.

Turns out, mr nice guy vole of the two types
prairie and something else and I can’t remember which
is the nice one
but the nice one makes more oxytocin
and has more oxytocin receptors than the mean one.

me:
i would take any class on natural history that you ever taught