It’s possible that nothing will ever be as cool to me as this Japanese translation of my story “White People” in Shinchosha (excerpted from The Island Dwellers.) Look below for how Japanese handles the word “mansplaining”…
Squid jerky: way better than it sounds.
One of the many slogans they debated: “The Mizu Gang: We Take Our Water Very Seriously.”
Christmas…tree? 
Christmas Velociraptor! 
Close-up on what it is to be consumed by a Christmas Velociraptor: 
Christmas Moby Dick Scene. Obviously. 
1 hotel room, 55% bed. 
The English is a lot more optimistic than the Japanese…
Meanwhile, back in the old neighborhood… 
It’s a lot quieter in the afternoons than after dark. As Thomas Wolfe said, “You can go home again, but if you go on a Tuesday afternoon, the prostitutes and low-level yakuza will not necessarily be there.”
For when it’s a late night, and you’re coming home from the office, and you stop in a conbini to get that dish soap your wife asked about, and you can’t find it, and you don’t have time to go to the izakaya where your favorite yakitori-specialist is frying chicken skewers to go with your favorite dry sake, but also you can’t go home and face her sober, so: 
